Tuesday, June 30, 2009
So I was watching a Baby Story yesterday and it's been a while since I've seen one of the episodes, but I of course cried my eyes out!! :o) The mom was trying to deliver her 2nd baby vaginally but had to have a Csection due to the same reasons I had to have one with Adrianna. Her husband was talking about how she was scared, but crying more because she was afraid of disappointing him.
It made me reminisce about each of my two csects I've had and how emotionally tough they were on me. At the time I had my first one, nobody I knew had one and it was SO hard on me, I felt like a total failure. I had my birth plan typed out, had a binder all organized and ready to go, even pre delivered my plan to the dr. and the hospital to post on the door...LOL. But it just didn't work for me and I had to accept that. Hopeful that I could do a VBAC for my second to be able to experience the "euphoria" of vaginal birth, I was shot down my doctors and decided to just go ahead and schedule a 2nd CS. That experience was much better than my first one. It was scheduled, I was mentally prepared, and I knew what to expect. Since the epidural didn't work the first time, my dr. gave me a spinal the 2nd birth and I was able to be awake which definitely made a HUGE difference! My first CS was an emergency, no pain meds were working and I had to go under General Anesth.
I'm prepared for my third CS delivery but still feel the anxiety of it inside. Watching the mom crying the entire time they are cutting and delivering made me cry too! The fear laying there of something going wrong doesn't go away when they take your baby out, at least not for me. I couldn't stop crying until they rolled me out of that O/R!! The fear of death overwhelms me during the surgery so I'm trying to figure out a way to not have that happen this time.
Thank God Chris is able to be right by my side. He is my ROCK, my "safe place". The man has the warmest brown eyes you could ever look into. His touch makes me feel safe and secure. He may be filled with as much fear and anxiety as I am but doesn't show it to me. I feed off of his patience and resilience as much as he feeds off my energy and excitement. We are a perfect balance for each other in that way.
Each birth is a different experience regardless of how you deliver the baby, I know that. I was laying in bed talking to Chris last night about how it NEVER gets old, each birth is NEW LIFE, a NEW BEGINNING, and I feel so blessed to have a husband that wants to experience that just as much as I do, and that God has provided us with the opportunity once again! This pregnancy has been TOUGH, this has been a rough season in our lives between moving, financial struggles, and lots of other "changes" in our lives all at once. BUT, the best, most valuable part of the past nine months has been my spiritual growth. I've felt close to God and far from God over the past 21/2 years that I began my journey, but not until NOW do I genuinely feel like I am God's Child and am filled with the Holy Spirit! My life has been transformed! I've been broken down in ways that pain me to even think about, but I do believe that was the only way for me to hear God's voice and His only way to get my attention, my FULL ATTENTION. My biggest fear since "calling myself Christian" has been whether or not I would still genuinely be me. And wow, yes, I am still ME, just a better ME. :o) Character qualities that I always said I didn't have, I now possess and call mine. I pray now, and not just for me, but I spend more time praying for other people.
This is a new Chapter in our Lives, our Book . . . and I'm so excited and FULL of Faith, Hope and Love . . .
Monday, June 29, 2009
Whole Wheat Bread (in machine)
1 cup + 2T Water
1 T + 1.5tsp Butter softened
1/4 C Firmly packed brown sugar
3.5 C Whole Wheat Flour
2 1/4 tsp Bread Machine Yeast (1packet)
Place Ingredients into machine in this order:
Make a small indentation with your finger in the flour and add the yeast making sure it doesn't come into contact with the water.
Put breadpan in machine.
Makes a 1.5lb loaf
1 C water
2 T Extra Virgin Olive Oil
3 C Flour (you can use all purpose or whole wheat)
1 Packet Yeast
1 tsp salt
1 tsp sugar
1 T Italian Seasoning
Load into bread machine and set to dough cycle. My machine takes 1.5 hours and then you remove it, roll it out, stick it on a stone and top it!
Bake at 450 until done!
Rice Crispie Treats
Sunday, June 28, 2009
* FULLY stocked up on about 8 boxes of Eggos, 5 tubs of Breyers, lots of strawberries (will slice and freeze 2 pints for smoothies, kids LOVE them!), chicken and some other goodies from SuperTarget.
* Spent my $46 in ExtraCare Bucks on lots of TP, Paper Towels, some meds, toiletries, 4 12 packs of Diet Coke, 2 Gallons of Milk, Bread, Cereal, Tuna, Chicken Soup, laundry and dish soap too along with a few goodies for me and the kids!
* Made a HUGE trip to Walmart and have an extremely well stocked pantry which will get us through the next month! Stocked up on Rices, pastas, breakfast items, baking needs, canned goods, beverages, snacks, chips, etc. I am good on all my pantry staples as well. :o) Had a great trip of almost $140 before qps and $73 oop! Very Nice!!!!
* Just looked at my CareCalendar that my friends put together for me and it looks like we will have dinners prepared for us for the ENTIRE MONTH OF JULY almost!!! HUGE BLESSING!! I love my friends!!
Chris cleaned out my car and I'm bringing it for an oil change tomorrow which will be the only road trip I make besides my dr. appt on Wednesday. I have some last minute "nesting" to dos for the week with my mother in law around the house and need to get as much rest as possible which involves starting another book...LOL!
I thank God for her, she is the type of mother in law everyone wishes they had - - - a TOTAL blessing!!! She will be here helping me this week wrap stuff up and a couple of weeks postpartum too. She is the typical Italian Mama, always cooking something, cleaning something, kissing and hugging the cuties and I hope to be just like her when I'm a Grandma for sure. She and I have a very special bond that I am overjoyed for. I love our conversations, I love the love she has for me and our family, and I especially love her gracious and giving heart. Right from the start, I felt accepted especially by her...hey I'm Italian after all..LOL! I am so excited to be able to give her another granddaughter to love and adore and chose her name for Sofia's Middle name...."Flora"...."Sofia Flora"....it's PERFECT!
So now it's off to relax with Chris, write out my weekly to do list and fill out my monthly calendar to stick on the fridge for the family... I feel overjoyed right now!!!
LIFE IS GREAT!!!
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Have all baby clothes, burp clothes, blankets & other linens on hand and washed. Purchase Nursing Bras and other personal items for postpartum. Finish Nursery. Pack hospital bag and "Daddy Bag". Buy an extra battery for the camera & laptop.
Put carseat in car.
Arrange Childcare for hospital stay. Work on June Schedule for kids' activities. June's Menu Plan. Work on stockpile for paper goods & Pantry. Make & freeze 4 pizza doughs.
Make cookie dough and freeze in a tube to easily cut.
Steam clean rugs.
Wax entire downstairs floors.
Organize Master closet with postpartum clothes and pack away clothes I won't be wearing for a while. Organize Laundry Room, Coat Closet, and kids' craft closet. Have July's bill schedule setup and ready to hand over to hubby. Oil Change in my car.
Brakes done in hubby's car.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Week of 6/15
Monday: Rice & Beans with fried tortillas
Tuesday: Grilled Chicken Breast, yellow squash & salad
Wednesday: BBQ Ribs in Crockpot, fried zucchini & baked potatoes
Friday: Chicken Burgers & homemade french fries
Saturday: Father's Day! Daddy's choice of takeout!
Sunday: Spaghetti & Meatballs, salad
Week of 6/22
Monday: BLT Salad with Basil Mayo Dressing
Tuesday: King Ranch Chicken Casserole (from freezer)
Wednesday: Grilled Country Style Pork Ribs, rice & veggies
Friday: Pizza Night!
Saturday: Grilled Hot Dogs, Potato Salad & Veggies
Sunday: Waldorf Salad with Chicken Breast with rolls
Week of 6/29 Grilling week since I'm cleaning my oven on Sunday! LOL
Monday: John McCain Ribs in Crockpot, Cucumber Salad, rolls
Tuesday: Grilled Salmon, veggies & Rice Pilaf
Wednesday: Pizza on the Grill
Thursday: Burgers on the grill, grilled corn on cob
Friday: Final Date Night as parents of Two!
Saturday: Dinner with Friends
Sunday: Baked Ziti and Salad, my favorite! No food after 10 so I'm going to fill up! :o)
I'll be in the hospital from Monday-Wednesday and have a WONDERFUL support group of friends that will be providing meals every other night for our family so we should be taken care of for a few weeks postpartum. I'm working on freezing about 6 meals, some pizza doughs and stocking up on some Boca Burgers and a few easy meals for the kids too!
I'M GETTING SO EXCITED!!!
Saturday, June 13, 2009
We had a crazy month and a half dealing with some problems at our house we are renting out, but thankfully it has all been worked out. So now, it's full speed ahead with our focus on our family and preparing for our new addition to arrive. :o) I've had all sorts of mixed feelings during this pregnancy. Between feeling very sick, super duper emotional, stressed and overwhelmed it's been tough. With moving and getting pregnant right away, life has been hectic to say the least, LOL. But I feel like now we have finally reached the peak and are coasting down now ready to get to that calm, flat land. Motherhood is tough and mothering a newborn can be a challenge, but it's my true comfort zone and a place I can't wait to be again. Pregnancy is NOT my thing, ha, but being a mommy is pure bliss for me and I'm so blessed to have the opportunity to go through it again from the beginning! Oh how I dream about holding a newborn baby again, and that smell....ooh!
So, I've worked on a few different schedules. A Master To Do list, June's Menu Plan, June's schedule of activities and playdates for the kids are what I've been focusing on. I'll be posting those in seperate posts so I can easily find them.
I'm now 36 weeks and will be delivering baby Sofia at 39 weeks, c-section, on Monday July 6th! I'm actually feeling pretty good most days besides the regular physical stuff at this stage, being tired, weighing over 60 lbs heavier than pre-pregnancy, and moving slower, LOL! My mind is doing well, so I can handle the physical stuff for sure. I'm looking forward to these next few weeks with Chris and the kids enjoying our Summer break!