Tonight, Adrianna's lost her last baby tooth. It was SUPER loose today so I did my part and picked up the pack of gum and made sure I had a couple of singles just to be prepared in case tonight was the night. Oh it was THE night for sure.
It was THE "Death of the Tooth Fairy" night....the beginning on the end....boo hoo!!!
After Anna made a video of pulling that final tooth out, she called me into her room, the room that has become a "tween room", full of HER personality, not mine. She looked at me and said, "My friends have been telling me for a long time now that there isn't a tooth fairy and I never believed them, but I need to know Mom, Is the Tooth Fairy YOU?" I looked into her hopeful eyes, and while we both knew the truth, I wanted to hold her and tell her OF COURSE IT"S NOT ME, but I knew I couldn't, it was time.....she was ready.
And it started . . . . the end of all the little fantasies of childhood for my first born.
I wanted to cry, I think she wanted to cry. In that very moment, an entire phase of her life had come to an end. There's no going back. She will never again believe in the Tooth Fairy. While we were talking, the whole Trifecta came to an end. Goodbye Santa. Goodbye Easter Bunny. Our relationship as Mother and Daughter has become more complex. She understands I made up stories and the joy I got out of seeing those smiles, the victory dances, the moments of going from writing the thank you letters to the make believe "beings", to helping her spell out the letters, to then letting her do them on her own. She knows she's growing up and has taken a specific place in the family as the "Oldest Child". A phase of life has now ended for me as well tonight. She now knows one of my "secrets" and as she enters a special place closer to me, this is also the beginning of her growing apart from me and more into her own being.
This is part of life and in that moment of holding her and stroking her hair, we both knew just how lucky we are to have each other. There will be BIGGER and HARDER questions for me to answer in the future, but she knows when it comes down to it, I will answer her honestly and be there to comfort her, hold her, and love her, no matter HOW old she is.