Wednesday, February 4, 2009

digging my way out...

that's what it feels like I've spent the last three days doing, I swear! We had a great service on Sunday but it left me SERIOUSLY struggling. I have been feeling overwhelmed the past week and a half and swear I felt like I was going to have a nervous breakdown. So, I've sort of pulled in a little, not really blogging or messing around on facebook, just trying to prioritize stuff and pull it together a little. How easily I get off track and I just don't understand how! Am I that unbalanced? Why can't everything just seem to flow for me like it does for other women? I sometimes feel like I'm in a circus act juggling to keep everything in balance.

I want to scrapbook again.
I want to get the kids pictures printed and in albums, or at least printed off the computer before #3 comes along!
I want to paint the downstairs to pull it together some.
I want to have organization in the kids' rooms.
I want to organize my laundry room.
I want to have a weekly schedule for my home and for Christopher.
I want my kids to SLEEP IN THEIR OWN BEDS!!!!!
I want to stop feeling like I'm ALWAYS behind on stuff.

These are just a few thoughts floating around in my head DAILY and it drives me nuts!

Add all that into planning a bday party for Adrianna's 6th birthday. That has been a MESS! I've finally decided to keep it WAY SIMPLE! I'm even ORDERING a cake! I just need to give myself some slack. I know that, but it's SO hard to do for me.

I am a ball of tension.
I am anxious.
I'm in need of a release, just don't know what that looks like...


Cindy said...

I hope you have a productive day tommorrow! Adrianna is going to have a wonderful birthday party this weekend and she will never remember if you made her cake or bought it. :-) Plan on staying home next week and you should be able to unwind. I won't even make you come to Momtime at my house but I'll come get Christopher from you that morning so you can nap or something.

Sabrina said...

Look - you need to go easy on yourself. You can not do everything even though you want to. You are pregnant with two kids, a new house that you moved into only a few months ago. It's normal for you to be overwhelmed! How could you not be? I am totally overwhelmed too so I know how it feels, I think sometimes that I start a week two weeks behind and it's depressing! I have to keep telling myself that all that stuff doesn't REALLY matter. My family matters and my mental health matters!!

We'll get there!!

BTW Cindy is right Adrianna won't know or care about the cake! Be nice to yourself please you deserve it!!