Today was definately one of those days where I just wanted to crawl under some crisp,cold,clean sheets and waste the day away! THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN of course...but that desire got me thinking.
Sometimes my schedule just seems SO BUSY! Kids to raise, a husband to feed and love, friendships to invest in, upcoming block parties, Bible Study, Baby Showers, Baby Births, Mom's Club Stuff, Community Involvement/Activities, Magnet Orders to fill, new/upcoming Graphic Art Design work for WhichWich? , a LONG OVERDUE family vacation at the end of this month, Birthdays, Anniversaries (Oct.8th for us!), and it just goes ON AND ON AND ON!!!!! I don't know why, but I've been consumed by this stuff lately. Usually I just roll with it, pile it on and drive it home....I thrive on being busy and am depressed when I'm bored, but there are times when I need to call a TIME OUT!
I was talking to Chris tonight after Bible Study about juggling all of this stuff and it seems I don't have enough time in the day! Our circle of friends is bigger, our lives are fuller so OF COURSE that means there will be more activities to fill our days and weeks with. I guess it's just keeping it in perspective and sometimes when you're in the midst of being "overwhelmed" it's hard to do that. I have brief moments when I miss being bored, I miss my life being ONLY about me and my family . . . organizing my cabinets and drawers CONSTANTLY, cleaning closets, going through dresser drawers, rearranging furniture, working on lots of little household projects.
And then it HITS ME! I wasn't as fulfilled then, I didn't have those moments like tonight just hanging out with friends, drinking coffee, and chatting while holding a newborn (LOVE IT!), watching my husband has some meaningless guy conversation :o) and the kids all run around playing... NOW THAT'S WHAT LIVING IS. That's what LIFE is truly about. It's not about the seclusion or isolation (don't get me wrong, it's nice to have those kind of days), but about filling your plate. Filling it with things you enjoy, things that make you so excited to get up and go. The reality of course is that not EVERY DAY is going to be filled with things like that, LIFE ISN'T PERFECT, and I guess asking or expecting it to be easy is just selfish and unrealistic.
I have been listening to a couple people telling me about death of loved ones recently and they both have two totally different outlooks on it. One, "At least she is with Jesus, her life is now perfect and complete." and the other "It really is such a shame, she was so young and still had her whole life to live, kids to raise, a new life to start and it's over, just like that!". I have pondered both of these statements and truly have begun to stress out about life and what it means to really live.
Is it enjoying your husband, children, parents, brothers and sisters and throw a friend or two in the mix. Or is it adding more and more people to your circle of trust (sorry, had to throw that line in there,I LOVE Analyze This! HA!) and with that comes MORE AND MORE things to DO?! Which in turn leaves less and less time for ME. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm . . . . . .
If I talk to anyone about it I already know what I'll hear, "It's a combination of both." and blah blah blah. Words are words, actions are actions. I've never taken directions/rules very well as you probably know. :o)
It's getting late and I still have to finish cleaning my bathroom for the company we have coming in town this weekend. It'll be so nice to see Chris spending this weekend with ALL 3 of his brothers, their wives and all 6 (plus one due any day) cousins . . . that brings joy to my heart!!!
Hope you all have a GREAT Labor Day Weekend!