Alot of things are starting to fall into place for me and my family these past few weeks. I've received an amazing outpoor of generosity from all the friends brought into my life by God, my church has helped with the difference in what I need to help my sister get here safely before Christmas, our leadership team has been "relaunched" , "refocused", and "remotivated", my family life is great, things with Chris's job are getting better and better and I honestly couldn't ask for a better way to end one year and begin a new one.
I've been under alot of stress this past month with the worry and concern over my sister and some family issues which has thrown me so off track and has made me lose a little bit of focus. I've made some decisions that probably weren't the best, but the best for me at the time I made them. I don't have any regrets since my motivation has never been ill-willed or malicious. Sometimes change is hard and can hurt, but needs to happen to get to the "good stuff". I've experienced this many times before and thankfully I can look back and see the results of my actions when those decisions were made with good intentions and with a good heart and the results when they were made coming from a not so good place. I feel some freedom today for the first time in a long time and most of that is due to the pressing on my heart all day and night yesterday from God. I am finally starting to be able to "listen" and "feel" Him working through me. There is nothing better or more empowering that THAT. What I've worked through these past few days I just know is the right thing for me and my family BECAUSE I listened to Him. Kyle mentioned these verses a while back and they have stuck with me so I wanted to share them with you. Being known as "smart" or "knowledgeable" isn't exactly what I want people to think of ME as, but striving towards being "wise", wow, now that's a goal worth working towards. :)
My son, if you accept my words
and store up my commands within you,
turning your ear to wisdom
and applying your heart to understanding,
and if you call out for insight
and cry aloud for understanding,
and if you look for it as for silver
and search for it as for hidden treasure,
then you will understand the fear of the LORD
and find the knowledge of God.
For the LORD gives wisdom,
and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.
He holds victory in store for the upright,
he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless,
for he guards the course of the just
and protects the way of his faithful ones.
Then you will understand what is right and just
and fair—every good path.
“Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves. Therefore be wise as serpents and harmless as doves.
Kyle's blogposts during August2007 before baby Kat's birth were focused on Leadership and I suggest you read those posts, they were inspiring to not just me, but even friends of mine out of the state both "churched" and "unchurched". These were some of my favorites of his.
In our group settings I don't ever speak up to pray in front of other people, I'm just not comfortable doing that yet but I would like to pray today because I'm just SO full of joy and thankfullness!
Thank you Lord! Thank you for giving me Kyle and Erika, thank you for all the friends that I've found through them and for the impact each and every one of them has made in my life. Thank you for continuing to show me that YOU love me and will take care and provide for me and the ones I love. Thank you for giving me the gifts of life through my children, thank you for showing me forgiveness and how to forgive, thank you for giving me the personality I have, the strength that empowers me when I'm walking in your Spirit. Thank you for an amazing life partner and best friend, my one true soul mate that I can call "husband". Please keep Chris healthy and strong, help him in the places that ONLY You and He knows needs healing. Help me remain a strong, loving wife and mother as well as friend and confidant to those who need me. Provide me with wisdom to know the decisions I make are in the best interest of the greater good. Help me spread Your Good News, use me in the ways only you can to help others out there who are lost or just need help getting back on the right path.
Today is a new day and my eyes and heart are once again open, Lord help to keep them that way. And it's in Your name I pray, Amen